


She's Still Here

by RelativelySain



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Holby Halloween Monster Mash 2019, berena - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-31
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2020-12-28 04:09:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21130532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RelativelySain/pseuds/RelativelySain
Summary: Warnings: SPOILERS for recent episodes containing Berena plotlines.A good old fashioned Halloween Haunting...or maybe not? Is it just bad luck and a bit of troubled sleep or is there something else going on? Maybe Serena just needs to find somewhere warm to lay down for a nice long rest to get all this unpleasantness off her mind...*Wee bit of a cameo from an AU Eva Vasquez from Silent Witness*





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which we completely disregard any body finding episodes because I mean really...what is cannon? Pshhh

“Everything alright?”

It took a moment before Serena looked up from the phone that she’d been shouting into moments ago.  
“Sorry, yes…these idiots have had me on hold for the past hour. At this rate I won’t have proper heating until Summer comes back 'round.”

Fletch pulled a face in solidarity. “Suppose they must be getting a lot of those calls this time of year. How long’s it been out for?”

“It hasn’t. Well, not entirely. One moment it’s working fine then next thing you know it cuts out and the place is freezing.” She explained, coming round her desk and walking with him out onto the ward. “Worst part is I have to keep it cranked up when it’s not working fully so when it does come back on it’s like the Sahara. What have we got?” Serena picked up a chart as they reach the bed and he filled her in on the case.

The day had been calm by Holby standards and at least it had been a comfortable temperature.

“Oh for Christ’s sake..” She swore, her breath clouding in front of her as she tossed her keys and bag of paperwork on the counter. Serena repeatedly jammed at the buttons on the temperature control as it beeped uselessly back at her. “Great.” A shiver crossed her shoulders as she pulled the collar of her jacket closer.

One hour forty two minutes and an extremely firm conversation later Serena had an emergency appointment with a repairman booked for the next evening. She rolled her eyes as another blast of hot air struck in the middle of filling out reports. Disrobing her layers, she continued working, occasionally fanning the collar of her shirt against her now sweating neck. Wasn’t worth the trip back to the broken temperature controls. Still better than the menopause at least. Two days later found her complaining to Fletch about the repairman’s shoddy work.

“The bloody thing refuses to heat up at all now and this ward isn’t much better. Did anyone say anything to you about the heat?”

“Nah...you want me to have a word with maintenance for you? You got a nasty draft coming from somewhere in here.”

“Please.”

Serena wasn’t oblivious to the looks her colleagues were giving her as she went through the full day in her overcoat. Honestly, she was surprised no one else had given in to those horrible Holby jumpers. She had seen a few shivers but so far everyone toughed it out. She was starting to look forward to the Halloween Party at Albie’s tonight solely for the promise of a working heater and a tall glass of Shiraz.

No such luck.

She just couldn’t shake the chill it would seem though the drinks certainly helped. As people trickled out, the laughter and chaos began to quiet until there were only a handful of people grouped at the bar, in a corner table, and the booth she shared with Rick. By the time the two were getting ready to call it a night they realized everyone else had gone. “Uh oh…we better head out before we get locked in again.” Rick was met with a snort in response, quickly covered by her hand. “Give me a minute and you can walk me to my car.” He teased before heading to the loo. She narrowed her eyes but the smile was a dead giveaway. Leaning forward, she tipped her glass towards her and frowned at the small collection of burgundy droplets. An unprompted darkness caused the expression to drop as she looked up from the glass.

“Rick?” She couldn’t hear any response from the hallway. “Damn…” She struggled to her feet, careful to avoid knocking over any of the empty glasses and slid out towards the center. She slid her hand along the backing of the booth to keep her bearings. “Rick, I think we missed last call!” Silence. “Ri..”

“Serena”

She stiffened unsure if she’d really heard the whisper. “Rick?” She called back much quieter than she intended.

“Serena!” She was sure she’d heard it this time: a woman shouting from far off. If she were willing to admit it to herself, a very specific female voice. Serena couldn’t seem to make herself respond but she walked forward into the dark room, hands outstretched to check for any furniture looking to jab her. Her heart leapt, throat tight, as something soft and cold took hold of her right hand. Squinting, she struggled to make anything out, a shadow even, but she couldn’t distinguish anything.

“Serena I’m here, can you hear me? I’m right here.” The same barely audible shouting.

“Bernie?” The pain in her voice brought a softness to it. She inhaled in shock as the lights flipped on again, leaving her blinking wide brown eyes searching the empty room.

“Ready?” Rick’s voice called out and Serena whipped her face towards the hall, staring at him with her hand outstretched and her rump firmly planted in the warm seat. He frowned at her expression. “I think I better give you a ride home.”

“I...didn’t you see that?”

“See…what?”

“Ber…the voi…the lights. They went out.”

Rick laughed as he returned to her side. “I think you may have dozed off there for a bit. You ready to call it a night _Ms. Campbell_?”

“But I…” She stood, looking around Albie’s before pausing to collect herself. “Yes, of course…but I think I’d rather walk home. Get some fresh air.”

Rick gave her a concerned look. “Serena…I don’t think that’s a very good idea.”

“I’m fine.” She insisted as they started towards the exit.

“Perhaps...but it is Halloween and there are bound to be people looking for trouble tonight.”

“I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself, thank you very much.”

Rick just held his tongue and looked up as he opened the door for them both. In the end, Rick did drive Serena home. She made her way to the bedroom absentmindedly, hands crossed over and attempting to rub some warmth back into each opposing arm. She managed to change for bed before crawling under the covers. Serena did not sleep well that night. She dreamt she was home but it was dark and it wasn’t quite right in the way familiar settings are in dreams. It was more that she knew she was home but there were rooms that didn’t belong and she seemed to get lost as she wondered from one to the next. In one, there was a figure silhouetted against the green light streaming in through a window. She called out to it, demanding to know who he was and what he was doing there. When he turned she still couldn’t make out any of his features but something about it made her uneasy. So much so that she jumped and spun around when she heard a noise akin to something heavy falling to the floor. Only a few seconds had passed before she looked back to the window and yet the figure had vanished. Serena ran to her kitchen, somehow knowing the way despite the altered layout, and grabbed the largest knife from the wooden block on the counter. Stalking carefully back through the house she searched for the shadow man. A small black bird perched on the sill outside seemed to watch her as she passed. She spared a double take in another room as two more of those birds sat on a tree branch outside the window. A third flew to join them as she watched. It was dark outside as it was in the not home home.

You don’t see birds at night do you?

The thought chilled her and she gasped as a cold hand gripped her arm and spun her around. She nearly dropped the knife as she stared up into a gaping maw lined with rows of jagged teeth. She could feel spittle hit her cheek as a terrifying roar tore out of the shadow man. She stabbed him in what she hoped would still be a rather vital artery and levered herself free of his grip as he roared again, this time in pain. She ran without looking back. As she rounded the bottom of a stairwell in her one story home something yanked her around into the cupboard beneath, a hand firmly muffling her scream.

“Shhh” The woman hushed Serena gently. Serena’s heart fluttered when she looked at the blonde. She’d have kissed her right then and there had it not been for the hand still over her mouth. Bernie rose her brows in a warning gesture before slowly peeling her hand back.

“Bernie.” Serena uttered the one word with a depth of reverence unrivaled by all but the two that met it. It won a timid smile from Bernie.

“Hi Serena.” They stood a moment suspended by the invisible string pulled taught between them. The cupboard door jarred with a crash, boards splintering towards them, causing Serena to jolt flush against Bernie, both now staring at the door.

“We have to go. Now” Bernie instructed, pulling Serena by the hand into a pitch black hallway. A hallway that had no place being in a closet under a stairwell that shouldn’t be there…lead by a lost love that couldn’t possibly have been there.

Both were breathing heavily by the time Bernie pulled them into a crouch behind Serena’s car in the garage. Bernie stared at Serena in wonder a moment before sliding her thumb over the back of Serena’s hand. Her free hand timidly reached for Serena’s cheek pausing just centimeters out. Serena tilted her head and pressed into the hand but felt it flinch away a second before returning to her cheek. Serena barely had time to prepare herself for the kiss that followed. When they reluctantly broke and leant forehead to forehead, hands holding each other near, Bernie whispered in a broken voice. “I missed touching you…so much.” Serena choked back a dry sob as their hands continued to caress each other: remapping old terrain. “I tried…before…but I…I passed right through. Except…tonight. In Albie’s. You felt it didn’t you? I took your hand?”

Serena nodded, leaning forward to lay against Bernie’s chest, arms sliding around her waist. “Stay with me.”

There was a brief pause and Serena knew Bernie was organizing her thoughts carefully. “As long as I’m able. Serena, I…I need you to remember.”

“Remember wh…”

“Not now…when you wake up, I need you to remember.” Serena could feel her whole body sink and she tightened her hold on Bernie.

“Remember tonight at Albie’s. Remember this conversation and find me.”

“What do you mean find you? You’re right here.”

“Serena, please! Try to focus, this is important. I need you to find my body.”

“S..stop now, just stop.”

“A woman …”

“No, you’re here Bernie. In the flesh. You’re here with me…”

“named Vasquez. Alex can…”

Both women startled as a screeching roar echoed far too close for comfort.

“We’re out of time.” Bernie stated, pushing Serena by the shoulders to sit up again. “I need you to wake up now Serena.”

“Wake up?”

“I love you and I need you to wake up.”

“What are y…no.” Serena tried to grab hold of Bernie’s hands but she kept pulling them away. “I want to stay with you.” Another roar sounded, closer now.

“Remember.” Bernie whispered, brows troubled as she quickly shoved Serena back. Serena gasped as she rocked off balance, bright light blinding her as her eyes flew open and she found herself sitting up in bed, the sun creeping over the horizon.


	2. Chapter 2

Serena did not sleep well that night.

However, it wasn't the dream that broke her into sobs...but rather the waking. For the briefest of moments she had believed that her Bernie was back...that despite whatever that creature was, things would be fine as long as Bernie was with her again. And then she woke and she remembered: Berenice Griselda Wolfe had died three months ago and she was never coming back.   
  
If Serena had been anyone else she may have taken a personal day but Serena was a firm believer in carrying on in times of crisis. She threw herself into her work and tried to forget about the dream. She layered up and ignored the cold. She cursed her aging memory as she misplaced her keys pre-shift and made a mental note to keep an eye out for any other troubling signs of early onset dementia. Perhaps she was just flustered by the broken heater and the painful dream...as she misplaced a number of other things in the following days. The mirror though, was harder to ignore.  
  
Serena had just exited the shower and was ruffling her hair with a small towel when she noticed it: VASQUEZ dripping through the fog on the glass. Her breath caught painfully in her throat as she stood rooted to the spot. A chill crossing over her neck caused a shiver and she turned to look over her shoulder on instinct. Honestly, she wasn't sure what she'd thought she'd see apart from the glass of the shower door. It was just a dream...she thought to herself firmly. Turn back around and you'll see it was all just your head playing tricks on you. The words, however, were still there dripping down the mirror when she looked back. She jumped back a step with a small shriek as the soap flew off the sink, into the wall and onto the floor in a series of thuds. Her heart raced but she kept herself in place.  
  
Just around the other side of the veil, unseen by mortal eyes, Bernie stood just in front of Serena with a desperate expression. Serena's eyes focused just past her on the mirror.   
  
"Come on Serena...please..." She reached out, her hand falling through Serena's. "I know it's all...it seems crazy. Trust me I know...but I need you to try." Bernie gasped as Serena stepped forward and right through her. Bernie turned to watch Serena swipe the name away with her hand. For a second their eyes met in the reflection before the steam fogged the glass again. 


	3. Chapter 3

Her mind had been elsewhere most of the day. Even when she got home she found herself staring at the same page of reports for twenty minutes, her fingers toying with the pendant of her necklace and her wine glass untouched. She blinked and her body slacked as she rolled her eyes at her own behavior. "Alright, that's it." Leaning over her computer, she minimized the report and pulled up her email. "You win...if you're even..." She paused with a sad sigh but quickly typed up her request and hit send. Staring at the screen she picked up her glass and drank deep.   
  
If it had been possible, Serena may have looked down into the adoring and grateful smile of a kneeling Wolfe.  
  
The army had been as helpful with this request as they had been to her inquiries when she was taking care of matters on behalf of Cameron. That being said: not very. Luckily it was enough to...to what exactly? What was she even doing? Chasing down nightmares and ghosts...but maybe if she proved to herself that there was nothing to the dream, things would go back to normal...and THAT is how Serena Campbell found herself taking personal leave for a trip to Nairobi.  
  
Dr. Eva Vasquez had not been entirely what she’d been expecting. For one, Dr. Vasquez wasn’t in the army. She’d been involved with Bernie on a humanitarian project. Second, in place of a solemn or serious scene, Serena found her in the midst of the latter half of a raging celebration. Third, she had rather stunning collar bones on display from above her dress which Serena made point of complimenting. On doing so, the yellow lights strewn through the colorful paper stencils hanging about the canteen flickered momentarily.  
  
“Ah, the spirits have joined us!” Shouted a merry red cheeked man.  
  
“Forgive us, La Dia De Los Muertos is pretty big around here. Reminds us of home...Carlos likes to believe our faulty generators are signs of our ancestors sharing the night with us…where the rest of the year it’s just something for him complain about.” Interjected Dr. Vasquez with a smile and a friendly pat on Carlos' shoulders.

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Serena apologized, not for the first time questioning what the hell she was doing here.  
  
“Nonsense, any friend of Bernie’s is more than welcome.” Dr. Vasquez replied.  
  
Serena found Eva’s company welcoming and couldn’t get enough of her stories about Bernie’s time here. If she had to favour a guess, she’d say her big macho army medic had had a bit of a crush on Eva. Serena’s heart warmed to hear Bernie had talked about her to Eva…or maybe it was all the alcohol. She hadn’t meant to stay this long but had gotten lost talking with Eva. Eva offered up her sofa to crash on as it creeped up on 2 am and Serena accepted. Normally a night drinking left Serena with a deep dreamless sleep but perhaps all the talk of spirits and Bernie had been an unwise cocktail to mix with the alcohol.

In her dreams Serena ran from something through an endless darkness. She never saw what but it was enough to startle her awake. She felt uneasy staring through the dark at the unfamiliar living room. After a few minutes, a glass of water was decided on and she crossed over into the kitchen. The cabinet doors took some trial and error but she salvaged herself a glass and started toward the sink. She stopped, rolled her eyes and put the glass back when she remembered she couldn’t do that here. To the fridge then in search of bottled water. Instead of bottled water she found meat suspended in pouches of blood.

“Did you sleep ok?” Eva asked setting down the two cups of coffee on her kitchen table the next morning. Both women sat across from each other at the small square table.  
  
“Not really…I’ve been having the strangest nightmares recently.”  
  
“Really? What kind?”

Serena told her about the shadow man with sharp teeth and that she’s sure it was him she was running from again last night. “And…and Bernie was in the first dream.”  
  
Eva gave her a sympathetic look, reaching out to touch Serena’s arm. Eva receded almost instantly. “Serena, you’re freezing.”  
  
“Am I?”  
  
Eva gave a tense smile and got up to clean her plate. “There’s something I want to show you today.”  
  
“How mysterious…what is it?”  
  
“You’ll see…I think you’re really going to like it.”

Serena brought over her dishes and Eva took them to wash.  
  
“Do you have any bottled water I could bring with us?”  
  
“Oh, right…in the fridge. Help yourself.”  
  
“Did you put them in this morning?” Serena asked as she opened the fridge and didn’t catch Eva’s response as she stared, brow furrowed at the fridge stacked with water and a jug of juice but no bags of meat.  
  
“What happened to all the meat? Did it go bad before you got a chance to cook it?” Serena asked pulling out a bottle and shutting the door.  
  
“What meat?”  
  
Serena turned to the fridge and back again. “…Never mind. I thought I saw it there last night when I woke up…must have still been half asleep.”


	4. Chapter 4

The drive took a little over an hour by which time Serena’s curiosity was well and properly peaked. “Absolutely not.” She stated flatly shooting a look at Eva who had just held out a black strip of cloth and told her to put it on.

“Trust me.” Eva insisted.

Serena acquiesced with a sigh and took the blindfold. Eva helped her out of the car and up a rocky path. Once they came to a stop, Eva steadied her and removed the blindfold. Serena’s breath was stolen by the beauty of a lush garden situated near a partially constructed cabin.

“I’ve kept it up in memory of her…” Serena couldn’t find a response. Her heart was too torn between nostalgic bliss and painful reality. It was the cabin in Bernie’s journal…she’d begun building it.

Personally, Bernie found the ride out to be substantially longer than she remembered it: absolutely nothing to do with how well Serena and Eva were getting on with their jokes about her and Eva’s constant side glances at Serena. What was taking Serena so long to ask about her body? It had been two days already. Eva and her team handled any identification and preparation of corpses in the area. If anyone could get Bernie out it would be Eva.

She trailed behind them once they arrived. Upon reaching the top of the hill she took in her garden and Serena standing there, her heart sinking with dreams unrealized…well technically it had finally happened just in the most twisted perverse way possible. Her and Serena at the cottage…nearly standing in the garden she’d spent months on bended knee under the hot sun…Bernie’s face dropped as a memory flashed back that gave her an oddly off-putting sensation. Her in the garden, digging in the soil and wiping sweat from her brow...

“Don’t forget to hydrate. The sun out here will kill you if you’re not careful.”

Bernie turned her attention slowly to Eva, hearing the words both in her memory and in the present. Eva opened up a water bottle and handed it to Serena much like she had done for Bernie that day. Bernie could feel the water was something dangerous even before she remembered the dizziness and falling into the heated soil.

“Serena no!” She reached out too late as she slipped the bottle from Serena hands, bottle neck already against Serena’s lips and several deep swallows taken by the time the water splashed over her shirt and shoes.

Serena stared down with a furrowed brow wondering what caused her to be so clumsy. “Sorry, don’t know what came ov..over me…” Her words began to slur as her vision spun and she reached out towards Eva to try and steady herself. The blurred shape of Eva caught her and to Serena’s confusion apologized to her before Serena's knees caved and everything went black.

Bernie hovered over Serena, failing miserably at her attempts to hold the woman she loved and foolishly placed in danger. It gave her some hope that she did at least seem to be breathing. She glared as Eva slipped her arms beneath Serena’s from behind and dragged her back to the car.

“It was you. You killed me!?! Why? Why are you doing this?! Eva!” She followed in step with Eva, jaw grinding. “I don’t know how yet but I SWEAR I am going to stop you…and if you so much as bruise her I will kill you. Do you hear me Eva? EVA!”

Eva startled as the car stereo turned on and began switching through static filled channels. She steeled her shoulders and finished loading Serena into the car. Getting into the driver’s seat, she turned the car on and roughly spun the dial on the radio until it emitted no sound.

“Pipe down. You’re the one who sent her here.”

Bernie froze from her spot in the back seat.

“Now you have to deal with the consequences.”

“…Can you…hear me?” Bernie asked quietly.

Eva shifted the car into drive and drove off without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...


	5. Chapter 5

“You know I’m here. You know what’s happening…Eva!” Bernie pulled away from her protective stance over Serena and passed through the back of the seats to sit beside Eva. She couldn’t let this happen…she couldn’t be the reason Serena… “Stop this now and I’ll tell her to leave…Eva, please! STOP!” Bernie wasn’t sure if she was begging or ordering. Regardless, something under the hood exploded in smoke before the car puttered and rolled to a stop. Eva cursed and shifted back into parked, removing the keys and popping the hood. She exited the car and waited for most of the smoke to clear before getting to work. Bernie turned back to Serena, not sure how much time that would buy them.   
  
The first time she had entered Serena’s dream had been an accident but with a little focus she was able to slip in again. Bernie just hoped she didn’t bring him along with her this time. Serena was at Holby, trying to clear beds up even in her sleep. It nearly brought on a chuckle in the blonde only she was too worried to let her amusement over the endearing idiosyncrasies of Serena Campbell distract her.   
  
“Serena” Bernie called softly, standing a few feet behind Serena as she pressed down on the abdomen of her imaginary patient. Serena stopped, keeping her back turned for a moment, unsure if she could handle another happy dream only to wake up into a less kind reality. Her eyes closed to try and tamper down her emotions as a hand pulled gently at her arm urging her to turn around…turn around and face her ghost. She let herself be turned, inhaling a steadying breath before opening sad eyes that locked onto Bernie’s immediately. The hospital lights flickered but Serena paid it no mind.   
  
“I’m so sorry…I should never have asked you to come here. I got it wrong.” Bernie started.

“What are you talking about, got what wrong?”

Bernie put her hand up, mouth opening, as she urged Serena to quiet and let her get what ever it was she needed to say out. “Vasquez…I thought…I thought the reason why it always came back to her was my subconscious trying to figure out a way to get to my body so I could finally get out of…" She shook her head and continued. "It wasn’t because she could help find my body. It was because it was Eva…Eva was the one who killed me.” Serena shook her head, accepting the information as logical without understanding it all in the easy way one does in a dream.  
  
“No, you were killed by an explosion. They found your…” It was Bernie’s turn to shake her head and interrupt.  
  
“No. She drugged my water just as she did to yours now. You’re unconscious in the back of her car in Nairobi.”  
  
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Serena replied with an amused smirk trying to look back down at the patient chart in her hands but Bernie continued.  
  
“You were in the garden…my…our garden. I started building the cottage there right after our Skype call where you…where you agreed to come live here with me. Even after…after that changed I kept planting in the garden because…it reminded me of how happy we were before the hospital called you back.”  
  
Serena looked back up at Bernie, sorry to see the pain she was struggling to restrain.

“Bernie, I…”

“I need you to remember. You slept on Eva’s couch and the next day she drove you out to see our garden. You were standing on the hill and she gave you water to drink.”   
  
Serena was beginning to get that eerie feeling again. When had it gotten so dim in here she wondered with a frown. Her gaze moved from Bernie as Serena caught movement in the corner of her eye. A black crow had just landed on a nearby IV stand. Bernie turned her head to follow Serena’s gaze and her face paled.   
  
“We need to move, now!” Bernie commanded, clearly trying and only partially succeeding at keeping her voice down. Serena felt Bernie pulling her as they ran through the ward. They came to the door and Bernie cursed under her breath and turned back to Serena, hand outstretched.

“Your keycard.”

Serena felt for it and shook her head, caught off guard. “I don’t have it.”

“Yes you do.” Bernie enunciated in a forced calm. “Did you place it anywhere else maybe?”   
  
Bernie had enough experience with his world now to know if you thought something was then it probably would be. If you started worrying about being trapped then you’d find yourself at dead ends where there should be doorways. If you didn’t have something but then thought you did, occasionally…  
  
“Wait, here it is…must have put it in my pocket earlier…” Bernie snatched the offered card and smacked it against the scanner. She pushed the door open with her shoulder as soon as it beeped and pulled Serena after her.  
  
“We need to wake you up. I can get the car running but I don’t have enough control to steer it.”  
  
“How is…none of this makes any sense Bernie.”   
  
Bernie stopped running and looked back at Serena. “I know but...you trust me?”

Serena grinned, chin lowered and brow quirked. “You know I do. But Bernie, THIS…this is insane. How do I know I’m not just…making you up?”  
  
“How could you have known about Vasquez? If I’m not real, how did you know to look for her?”  
  
“I don’t know, maybe you mentioned her a long time ago and I forgot.”  
  
“I only met her after we broke up Serena.”  
  
Bernie could tell she was starting to get through to Serena by the look on her face but there was still some reserve.  
  
“This isn’t possible. You…you’re dead Bernie.”  
  
“I know and if you don’t wake up, you will be too.” They had gotten closer, Bernie’s hands on the outside of Serena’s arms, just below her shoulders. It had gotten quiet, the patients and hospital personnel no longer present. When Bernie noticed the silence, she turned slowly back to the door they came from in time to see a thin shadowy figure with long arms hunching to duck through the doorway. Serena followed suit and both women found themselves taking a few cautious steps away before breaking into a full on run. They heard it screech and a scraping noise like claws running on the floor. Bernie made it to the door first and swiped the keycard, letting Serena through first before following and both slammed the doors shut again. Serena paused.   
  
“Will that hold him?”

“Doubt it…” Bernie replied grabbing hold of Serena’s hand and starting them running again. Once they were in the stairwell, Bernie starting running up until Serena let go and stopped.  
  
“Where are we going.”

“The roof.”

“The roof?” Serena didn’t have much time to argue as Bernie grabbed her hand again and lead them upstairs. “And why are we heading to the roof? The exit is downstairs.”  
  
“We aren’t trying to leave the Hospital.”

“We aren’t?”  
  
Bernie pulled them through the last door and out to the roof much faster than Serena would have thought. Which floor had they been on?

“No, we’re trying to wake you up.”

“On th…Bernie, don’t you dare.” Serena warned, leveling her with a fierce look.   
  
“You said you trusted me…” Bernie offered almost in joking tone her shoulders shrugging and brows raised above that goofy face she always made when she suggested something she knew Serena would hate but agree to on Bernie’s behalf.

“No. Have you gone mad?”  
  
“This isn’t real.”  
  
“Then why are we running from that thing?!”

“It’s complicated.” She reached out to Serena as a loud banging and scratching noise came from the metal door. Serena didn’t move and Bernie came back towards her. “Whatever that thing is…he’s as real as I am.”

“And just how real are you?”

“Real enough for this…” Bernie replied before leaning in for a kiss, hand sliding up the back of Serena’s neck to weave up into her hair, short nails dragging over her scalp. Serena melted into it, wrapping her arms around Bernie’s neck as Bernie’s other arm slid around Serena’s waist. Serena gasped into Bernie’s mouth as she felt Bernie take a few fast strides, dragging them both to the edge and leaning so they toppled over it. Their grips on one another tightened and any complaint Serena had caught in her throat as they plummeted to the ground.  
  
Everything went black but Serena could still feel herself breathing. Her limbs felt so heavy she could barely move but there was no pain...there should be pain. She struggled to open her eyes and groaned as the brightness stung a few seconds before receding. She was in the back seat of a car…how did she get here? She was so tempted to go back to sleep but something told her she shouldn’t. She needed to wake up.


	6. Chapter 6

It seemed to take forever and all the energy she had to lift her limbs and crawl her way over the back of the seat to the front. The hood was up and there was no key…what did Bernie expect her to do? Hot wire the thing and drive with her head out the window to see where she was going? She pushed back into the seat in surprise as the engine revved and the hood slammed shut revealing a surprised Eva stepping back just in time to keep her fingers. The two locked eyes, adrenaline rushing Serena’s system as Eva started towards the door. Serena reached for the wheel and tried to gather herself enough to drive but startled at the sound of the locks clicking as Eva yanked at the door handle. Serena flinched as Eva proceeded to bang on the glass with a wrench before finally managing to get the vehicle in drive and floored the gas pedal. Serena couldn’t control the pressure on the gas properly and her steering wasn’t much better. She was worried she’d end up a ghost either way at this rate. Serena wasn’t even sure which way to drive to get back into town. She tensed as Eva’s phone, still attached to the dashboard, lit up. The map app pulled up and a saved address was selected, the stiff female voice giving her instructions. Serena weighed her options. This could be a very bad idea…what were the chances of it actually being Bernie..of a ghost..what? Starting a car with no key, locking the doors, writing on mirrors…Serena sighed and followed the directions. At least she knew she wouldn’t be driving off into the middle of a desert.   
  
Though this wasn’t much better she thought as she pulled up to a large derelict building in the middle of nowhere. She tried to focus, clumsily going back in the map app to begin entering in her hotel’s address. She frowned as the phone went black and she attempted pushing the power button a few times to no avail. She caught movement in her peripherals as the door to the building creaked slowly until it was wide open. “Bernie, you d’know th’t is h’w people die’n horr’r films…Whyw’ld I gointher?” Serena slurred before jumping with a scream as the radio blasted on high a few seconds and went quiet again. She glared at the radio but pulled the lock on her door up and swung it open anyway, stepping out. “You st’bb’rn…” She gasped mid-sentence as her legs gave out under her weight and she just caught herself on the door. Grunting, she pulled herself back onto her feet, her legs still shaky. Never in her life had a few meters looked so far. She made it about a third of the way from where the support of the car hood ended before her legs buckled again and she caught herself with her hands, stirring up a small cloud of dust around her. She failed getting to her feet and begrudgingly sucked up her pride and crawled the rest of the way to the building on hand and knee, dust staining her trousers and hands when she managed to pull herself up by the door. She took in a deep breath, wanting to stop there. She was so tired. She looked up as light fixtures hanging above began to flicker on with a warm buzz, leading her gaze into the room. She frowned at the rows of cots lining the walls. The patients all lying still in each one, hooked up to drips and machines. This was no place for a ward…and where were all the nurses and doctors?  
  
She made her way towards the back, hand moving from the end of one bed to the next to keep her steady. It would help if she knew what she was supposed to be doing here.   
  
But then she spotted her, three beds away, and nearly dropped again. She propelled herself forward, nearly falling over herself in the process but managed to make it to the end of her bed. Unshed tears blurred her vision, clearing every so often as she tried to blink them away. Her skin was pale, cracked and peeling and her closed eyes sunken with dark circles beneath them but her chest was rising and falling ever so gently. Bernie was alive, if only just. Serena looked over the machine and drip Bernie was hooked up to before removing the needle and peeling off the wires stuck to her chest and arms.  
“Bernie…” Serena leaned over her ex, rubbing her arm, stroking her face, trying to get a response. The blonde didn’t stir. Serena glanced around for any medical supplies she could use to wake her…hell she’d settle for smelling salts but it seemed there were only the cots and the necessary accouterments.   
  
In the meantime, she made her way through all the beds, unhooking the patients. She was in process of peeling off one of the monitor stickers when a sharp pain jabbed into her upper arm and she gasped, turning only to find her body stopped by Eva’s own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you hadn't noticed...writer may have a hard on for cliff hangers lol The rest will have to wait until my Halloween shenanigans are over. To be continued shortly.


	7. Chapter 7

Her eyes fell from Eva’s determined face to the now empty syringe stuck in her arm. Serena pulled it out hazily, feeling Eva take hold of her. She wanted to resist but that hold seemed to be the only thing keeping her on her feet at the moment.  
  
“No.” Serena murmured as her eyelids drooped. Gathering her strength she struck forward towards Eva’s face with the needle only to have Eva catch her by the wrist and fight the syringe free from her grasp. “Why?” Serena just managed as she sunk further towards the ground.  
  
“I’m sorry…you would have done the same. For your child, you would have.” If Eva said any more Serena didn’t hear it. Eva was gone before she realized it. The lights had gone out again but she was still in the makeshift ward. Other than the lighting…the only difference was all the cots were empty and the machines all dead. Her head was clear and she could move normally again but she had a feeling she wasn’t moving at all.  
  
“Bernie!” Her heart pounded in the silence until it was broken by a crow caw from outside. Her breath caught and she took a step back looking around for anything she could use to defend herself. A long shadow fell outside the doorway from the left. It crept closer and Serena tensed. What turned the corner into the doorway however was no shadow monster.  
  
A lean man in a clean black suit loomed in the door with a wide smile. His eyes were too in shadow at the moment to see what colour they were or if they looked menacing or genuine. He unclasped his hands and opened his arms in a brief gesture.  
  
“Welcome Serena. We’ve been waiting for you.”  
  
Bernie had been trying…trying to wake herself up since Serena entered the ward. Even after the line delivering the sedative had been removed she couldn’t force herself to move or respond to Serena. She was afraid to let herself merge completely with the body in case it brought her back into his world. When she heard the tussle and looked over to see Eva and Serena, plans changed. She left her body and focused as hard as she could on throwing Eva away from Serena, over a few cots and crashing down to the floor. The action drained Bernie but she moved closer to check on Eva. Eva appeared to have struck her head pretty hard and wasn’t moving to get up. Bernie relaxed a bit, heavy eyes falling shut a moment before she forced them open again. She looked down at Eva who was opening her eyes at last. Those eyes widened as they fixed on Bernie. Bernie frowned as she realized Eva could see her…but if she could then that meant they were both in… On cue a roar shook the cots and both women turned to look at the doorway where the shadow man stood, drool dripping from jagged teeth down his chin.  
  
“No, not me! I brought them…” Eva hissed in a crazed voice, scooting backwards. “Not me! He promised…he promised to spare us. Take her! She’s the one you want!” She kept crawling backwards, under a cot and further. Bernie looked away in search of Serena and her own body…nothing. They were stuck in one of their dreams now. Bernie ran for the back door, not looking back. She could hear the clang and screeching of metal as cots pushed aside and drip stands fell. Her eyes widened, sucking in air as a warm grip caught her calf and she stumbled. Spinning around she kicked Eva off her, blood pouring out the woman’s nose as she scrambled forward again and made another grab at Bernie. “Help me, please!”  
  
She squashed the surge of anger that boiled up and pulled Eva roughly to her feet.  
  
“You try anything and I hand your head to him on a platter, got it?” 

Eva nodded frantically. Bernie shoved her forward. “Let's go then.”

* * *

  
  
“You could have saved yourself the trouble and rang.”  
  
“Ah…you know how spotty service is when you’re all the way out in the dream realm. Next time.” He replied calmly, still standing in the doorway across the room from Serena.  
  
“What is it you want?”  
  
“You. And Bernie. And all the world…I want you to come here…into my world.”

“Why?”  
  
“It’s lonely out here on my own Serena…surely you know how that feels. The emptiness...”  
  
Serena’s face clearly reflected she wasn’t buying anything this slime ball was trying to sell.  
  
“I don’t expect you to trust me right away. You’ll see, I only want to get to know you all. Bernie wasn’t happy here without you…so I let her go. I knew once she found you, she’d come back. They all come back.”  
  
“And why exactly is that? What was that...thing that chased after us?”  
  
His head tilted. “Thing chasing you? My dear I haven’t the faintest idea…I can only enter those who dream within my temples.  
  
“Right…” Serena sized him up trying to figure out how she might get past him if he would just come into the room. “Maybe I just got the whole thing wrong…maybe you just want some company…for tea, card games, badminton?” She suggested sarcastically.   
  
He smirked. “If you like...” Serena stiffened as he disappeared and she felt him whisper, breath cold on her shoulder. “but I thought for now…a reunion?”   
  
She twisted, taking a step away but there was no one there. She spun back thinking he may be back in the doorway but the doorway was gone…that one anyway. She was standing at the end of a pathway leading to a cottage. The door opened and Serena sunk to her knees, all air abandoning her lungs. The young brunette smiled from the doorway waving her to come in. “Hi mum, we weren’t expecting you back so soon! Come on in, Bernie should be here soon.”  
  


* * *

  
The trouble was, Bernie really didn’t need Eva waking up and causing trouble on the other side. It was with this in mind she ditched Eva to the first relatively good hiding space they found and ran off to find a nice high point to jump off of herself. Her eyes flew open and she gasped, dry lips peeling away from one-another in the process. Slowly rolling into a seated position, she dangled her feet off the edge of the bed and tested them with her weight a bit at a time until she was sure she could hold herself. Making her way from cot to cot, she knelt down by Serena’s body and tried to shout but the hiss of air that came out only served to burn her throat and prompt a short coughing spree. Shaking didn’t do much better in terms of waking Serena. So Bernie sat on the ground, legs spread and leaned forward to grab Serena under the arms. She pulled her with her as she sat back, letting out a long grunt. After scooting further away, she repeated the process over and over. Heart racing, she did her best to go as quickly as possible; hoping Eva didn’t wake up before she could at least get Serena out of the ward. She took a break as soon as Serena’s foot crossed the threshold, falling back into the dirt heart pounding and chest heaving for oxygen. Every muscle ached and she was fairly certain by the stinging spots on her left elbow and along her back that she’s scraped the skin off in several locations. Looking above her head, she blew at her bangs but most of them stuck firmly to her damp forehead. She could see the car…Just needed to get them both to safety then she could wake Serena and everything would be ok. She started up the scoot and pull again gritting her teeth as the dirt and sand felt like sandpaper on her back even through the papery thin fabric of her gown. She reached up for the door when she got to the car only to fall short. Relaxing, she scooted a bit farther back from Serena and tried to pull herself up the door again. Once she got it open, she pulled herself to her feet and lifted Serena inside taking care to push her across to the passenger seat. She was seated before her eyes fell to the empty ignition keyhole and her heart sank. Eva had the key.  
  
She let her weight fall forward, resting her head beside her hand on the wheel. A few deep breaths and Bernie looked up at the sky through the windshield weighing her options. She knew how it worked in theory but had never had a chance to put it to the test…not the best time for trial and error. She could go back inside to find the key on Eva…but it would take much longer than hot wiring the vehicle…and if Eva woke up Bernie was in no shape to take her on.  
  
Lady luck seemed to be in good spirits today…Bernie sighed in relief a breathy laugh escaping as the engine roared to life. They made it to the military base where, apart from the shock after confirming both women’s identities, they were immediately taken to the medical center. The team that had gone out to the location Bernie instructed, carted in the others that had been stuck there with Bernie. Bernie tried to push down her panic as she realized Eva wasn’t among them. She called over one of the soldiers and asked if they’d found a woman matching her description and location on the floor but it seemed she wasn’t there when the team arrived. She focused on her breathing and reminded herself it didn’t matter. Eva was just a normal woman…one who relied on getting people alone and ensnaring them when their guard was down. Once she and Serena were back in the UK, they would be out of her reach.  
  
It was a few days before Bernie was cleared for travel and Serena still hadn’t woken up despite the Doctor’s attempts and the sedative now long gone from her system. They couldn’t find anything medically wrong with her…she was just…sleeping.  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And I bet you thought this was a story about Serena saving Bernie....


	8. Chapter 8

The car’s engine quieted as she turned the key, staring out the windshield at the building in trepidation. Making one last check that her sidearm was tucked away beneath her shirt, she made her way inside, alert for any unwanted company. She wasn’t sure how but the place was actually more creepy without the cots and medical equipment. No quiet whirring of machines or softly breathing patients, just Bernie and the task before her. Behind the door, she decided, would provide the best protection should Eva make an appearance. Bending down, she settled in until she was sitting comfortably, back against the wall. She pulled her phone out, set the alarm for an hour and placed it on the floor beside her. Placing a pair of ear buds in, she started the playlist she made of sleep sounds and music and closed her eyes.

She tried clearing her mind as time dragged on. When the alarm went off she cursed and set it again for an hour. She struggled to clear her mind. Pulling her jacket closer around her, she tried to let her body sink into the floor, relaxing every muscle and carrying each breath as deep as she could. She took a peek at the phone again a few times, resetting the alarm once more before finally dozing off.

* * *

Bernie nicked a strawberry from the bowl with a mischievously anxious smile. She managed to take a bite before Serena could complain and smack her arm lightly with the wooden spoon.   
  
“_You_ go wash up and grab the drinks would you. Elinor! Where is that girl? Ah..” Serena turned partially away from the mushrooms she was cleaning in the sink as she spotted Elinor finally emerging from her bedroom.  
  
“There you are: table.” She nodded towards the empty dining room table before shaking the excess water from the mushrooms and moving them over to the cutting board.  
  
“Mom…” Ellie started, shooting a look towards Bernie in silent plea for support. “I’ll do it in a bit. Just came out for some water but I’m still working.”  
  
Bernie rose her brows as if to say ‘don’t pull me into it’ and turned away to finish pouring her whisky.  
  
Serena sassed back, inflection raised playfully at the end. “Your assignment isn’t going anywhere.”  
  
“Dinner isn’t even ready yet…”  
  
“White or red for you?” Bernie asked Ellie in passing, looking back as she put the glass and bottle of Shiraz by Serena’s usual spot.

“Whisky for me.”  
  
“Oh?” Bernie peaked with an impressed grin on her way back to the counter.  
  
“Ten more minutes?”  
  
“Oh, _fine_ but I’m counting.”  
  
Elinor chuckled and gave her mom a small peck on the cheek before grabbing herself a glass of water. “Thanks mom, be out in a few.”  
  
“Ten.” Serena reiterated knowing it would be more like twenty.  
  
Bernie watched Ellie slip back into her room from where she was leaning on the counter, whiskey glass cradled in both hands and head tilted back. “Back down the rabbit hole…you do know she won’t be out in ten minutes?”  
  
“Oh we’ll be lucky if we see her before next Spring.” Serena chirped back with a grin.  
  
As they coordinated cooking duties in the kitchen they Skyped with Jason, Greta and Guinevere. Dinner followed where they talked about how Ellie's new job was going and who they were backing to win Eurovision this year. Ellie was gone again before the table was cleared but did the kindness of at least bringing her own dishes to the sink.  
  
“Kids, they never do outgrow that do they?” Bernie asked over a smile, picking up the serving bowls from the center of the table.  
  
“They are an exercise in humility. Who else could turn two top surgeons in their field into glorified maid service?” Serena mock griped, taking up their plates and walking alongside Bernie into the kitchen.  
  
“We’d be doing it anyway if she wasn’t here.”  
  
“_She_ should be doing it when we aren’t here. I’m afraid to go looking for dishes in her room. Something crawled away last time.”  
  
Bernie restrained a snort and packed the leftovers away in containers. “She will do one day…did you do your dishes when you were her age? Or did you let them pile up in the sink for a week or two?”  
  
“I didn’t have dishes. I ordered take away.” Serena stated, chin raised with a side glance at Bernie.  
  
They curled up on the couch with their refreshed drinks and the telly on mostly for background noise as neither could find anything of interest on. The two had easily devolved into laughter over recounts of the better parts of the day and a few swapped tales from uni. Bernie’s chortling slowed as she wiped away a tear and caught her breath, looking around herself on the couch.  
  
“What are you looking for?” Serena asked in between the last of her own laughter.  
  
“My phone…”  
  
“Maybe you left it in your bag, want me to check?”  
  
“No, it’s fine I’m sure it’ll stop on it’s own.”  
  
Serena stared at Bernie with furrowed brow. “Stop what?”  
  
“The alarm.”  
  
“Bernie, your alarm isn’t going off.”  
  
“Then what is that?” She asked, propping her free arm along the couch so she could turn and survey the room, eyes stopping on the telly. Was it the show?  
  
“What is what?” Serena looked around once in reaction to Bernie doing so but returned to watching Bernie.  
  
Bernie looked back to Serena mouth open but only ended up sighing and shaking her head as the beeping stopped. "Never mind...it's been a long day." She stretched out, snuggling into Serena in the process.  
  
  
Bernie didn't bring it up when the faint beeping came back as they were getting ready for bed. It was likely a smoke detector somewhere running on low battery. She grinned, a warm kiss gracing the side of her neck while she slipped her wedding rings off into the small glass dish on the nightstand. Serena moved the hair out of her path and continued nipping and sucking kisses along the back of Bernie’s neck. Bernie sighed and leaned back into her wife, covering the hand wrapped around her rib cage with her own. The kisses were replaced with softly spoken words coming from above the chin now resting on her shoulder.  
  
“You looked distracted there.”  
  
“And you thought you’d go and change that?” Bernie teased, turning halfway around in the embrace with a smile.  
  
“You bet your arse I did.”  
  
“Can’t, you already claimed ownership of that a long time ago.” Bernie replied stone faced.

That won her the sliding smile Serena got when Bernie just proved too cute to keep a straight face through. “That I did.”  
  
Bernie’s act melted into a smile of her own, their gaze holding a few seconds before they leaned forward, arms snaking around each other as the force of their kiss met. It didn’t matter how many years passed, every time they kissed it was like coming up for air. In the in between moments when life was lived, they could forget they were holding their breath but each time they kissed they remembered what it was really like to breathe. The need so strong you wondered how you lived so long without it. This was what being alive felt like…what being whole felt like.  
  
_*FUN CHAPTER HAS BEEN REMOVED TO PRESERVE T RATING. Check under E content if you only came for the smut...you perv you*_  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my fellow pervs lol ---> https://archiveofourown.org/works/21290912


	9. Chapter 9

Bernie startled awake, head lifting from the pillow until she realized Serena's limbs were still thrown over her. She turned her head, squinting one eye, and reached over to feel around the top of the side table. Her fingers traveled over the dish with her rings and the base of the lamp but there was no phone. Finally she felt the radio clock and pressed the button to turn off the alarm. She pressed it again, harder this time but the beeping continued. "What the..." She muttered groggily before yanking the chord at the back of the alarm straight out of the wall. She groaned as the noise persisted. Carefully, she lifted Serena's arm and leg off her and snuck out of bed. She checked the dresser, Serena's nightstand, the loo: nothing anywhere proved to be the source of the noise. Bernie couldn't shake the nagging feeling she was forgetting something...something to do with the beeping. She padded over to their bedroom door and reached for the handle but found herself poised before the sink in theater, water on, and hands just about to go under the stream. An uneasy sinking feeling settled in even before her mind entirely accepted what she was beginning to remember. Was she spacing out or was it happening again? Before...with the fake Serena. Looking up from the water she saw the machines in theater beeping in rhythm. Serena...it had all been about Serena. The sound of her wife's lighthearted voice from behind prompted Bernie to twist around, eyes following the brunette over to the faucet beside her. 

"Mother and son duo...should I be worried Holby has a new dream team in the works?"

Cam laughed back already against the door and clean hands up in the air. "See you both inside." Bernie's eyes watched him leave, wide and sad before moving back to Serena who called after him as she opened up the soap.

"Don't start without us!"

Bernie slowly turned off her tap and moved over to Serena, closer than strictly professional, to gently take the soap from her and place it back on the sink. Serena quirked a brow, features first amused and then concerned once she read Bernie's face.

"Serena..."

"What's wrong?" The question almost sounded more like a statement, no doubt already switching over into problem solving mode.

"...I think you know." Bernie lifted her eyes to meet Serena's, a well of emotion behind them. How she wished this all was real for them both...especially for Serena but it wasn't. Serena's face fell the longer Bernie looked at her like that.

"I don't know what you're talking about...but what ever it is, can it wait until we're done here? Mr Thompson doesn't have the time right now."

"Yes he does, he has all the time in the world...we don't"

"I think his aorta may disagree. We'll talk after alright, I promise."

"He can wait." Bernie continued, taking Serena by the shoulders. "How did we get here?"  
  
"Bernie!" Serena started, in shock over Bernie's dismissive attitude towards the life of their patient, only to be thrown off by the strange question. "Wh..?"  
  
"To the hospital, into theater? Do you remember?"  
  
"Bernie..." Serena started to brush her off but she pressed on.   
  
"We were in bed and then we were here. No breakfast, no dressing for work, no driving, no patients....no hospital." She said gesturing out with one hand.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous...Bernie stop it you're beginning to scare me."  
  
"You can't remember it either can you? Because it didn't happen. It's all a dream."  
  
Serena opened her mouth to speak, brows furrowed but couldn't find an argument. As hard as she tried she was blanking on her morning. That really wasn't like her. 

"Mum?" Serena turned away from Bernie to see Ellie standing in the doorway teary eyed and afraid. Serena stepped towards Ellie but Bernie reached forward and caught her by the arms to prevent her from going any further.  
  
"Bernie, what the hell are you doing?"  
  
"It isn't real. That isn't...I'm sorry but that isn't Ellie."  
  
"Mum, please...my head..." Ellie reached up to gingerly pat the back of her head, wincing and pulling a blood stained hand back. "Mum?" Ellie looked up from her hand with eyes searching her mother's for a sign everything would be okay.   
  
"Ellie, what happened?" She tried again to step forward but Bernie held her fast. "Let go." Serena warned, beginning to get properly angry with Bernie's behavior now.  
  
"Serena, Ellie died. I'm so sorry but you need to remember that now. What ever THAT is, it is not your daughter. It's just your memory of her."  
  
"Stop it! You just..stop right there!"  
  
"How long have we been married? When did I come back from Nairobi? Believe me Serena, I understand...how hard it is when you want it so badly to be true..." Her heart sank as she remembered how she almost fell for it herself. Maybe she should be thankful dream Serena was nowhere near as trying as the real deal. She'd take real Serena at her worst, all jagged edges and sharp claws, over a copy of a 'perfect' version any day. "...but we can't stay here."  
  
Serena shook her head, eyes glossy with unshed tears, as she tried to pull Bernie's grip off. "I can't...I can't lose her again."   
  
Bernie pulled Serena in, chest to chest, and wrapped one arm around Serena's back to hold the back of her head. "She's already gone." She whispered, sympathy heavy in her voice. Bernie refused to let Serena pull or push herself away, ignoring the shoulder that jolted into her chin at one point. Serena watched Ellie collapse to the floor in the reflection on a glass window viewing into the theater.   
  
"Ellie! Let go of me!" Her anger subsided a bit through shear exhaustion as the struggling with Bernie eventually wore her down. "Bernie, please...she needs me. My baby needs me..." Tears were streaming down her cheeks and over her mouth as she sank, Bernie coming along and helping to slow her descent to the floor. They stayed there for a while, Bernie kneeling with Serena curled in her arms sobs wracking her body. When there were no more tears only sadness and soar puffy eyes Serena spoke again.   
  
"Couldn't we just stay? What harm would it do?" Bernie didn't respond. "We could be happy here. We could be together...all of us."  
  
"And what about Jason? Guinevere? Cameron and Charlotte?....They need us. Are we supposed to, what, abandon them so we can live out a fantasy?"  
  
Serena was quiet a few seconds before turning in Bernie's arms to look back at Ellie spread out on the floor. Her eyes burned but no tears came.  
  
"I can't..."  
  
Bernie slid the hand that had been holding Serena's arm down to give her hand a squeeze. "You can. We can, together."  
  
Serena turned back, burying her head in Bernie's shoulder. The blonde gently got them both to their feet when the sound of bones cracking had her frowning and slowly turning to look at Ellie. Her eyes grew wide as something slithered and pressed out from under Ellie's skin. She pulled Serena and herself a step away as Serena began to notice.  
  
"Run." Bernie whispered, tugging at a sluggish Serena. "RUN!" She pulled Serena after her, other hand shoving the door open as Serena began to fall into pace with her.   
  
"I'm really getting tired of all this haunted house cross country bollocks..." Serena complained, falling on dry humour to distract her from how completely shattered she felt, as they ran through the dream hospital. A familiar roar echoed through the hallways not far behind them.   
  
Bernie could hear the beeping more clearly now. She had to get Serena to wake up somehow. She swung right towards the stairwell and slammed the door shut behind them once they were in one of the landings.   
  
"Up to the roof?" Serena asked watching Bernie as she ran to the railing and leaned over to look down.   
  
"Not this time...no time." Bernie replied, straightening up and looking back at Serena. Returning to Serena she reached out for her hand only to go right through. Bernie's face fell, panic in her eyes as she began to fade.   
  
"Bernie!" Serena stepped forward into the spot Bernie had been standing. A loud smashing against the door announced the shadow man's arrival and Serena stepped up to the edge, placing her hands on the railing as she looked over. She pushed back and moved forward only to stop without so much as leaning over it. "Oh for heaven's sake." She self admonished, rolling her eyes. "Man up Campbell...a bit of a stomach whirl and it's all over with. You've had worse nights out with Fleur." Her eyes fell to her hands as her feet remained planted and the noise at the door stopped.   
  
"Mum, please stay. Don't you miss me?" 

* * *

  
Bernie rolled over, eyes creaking open and trying to make sense of where she was in the bit of moonlight shining through the windows. She'd slid down to the floor in her sleep. "Serena!" She sat up, hands frantically searching for her phone, fumbling with it a bit before managing to open it and call the base. 

"Hi Amber, it's Ms. Wolfe. No, I'm fine...things just took a bit longer than expected. I just wanted to check...has Serena Campbell woken up by any chance?" The nurse placed Bernie on hold while she went to check for her. Each second dragged by and Bernie found herself on her feet and pacing. The sound of someone picking up on the other end halted her pacing. "Hello? Yes..." She let out a large shaky breath, a wide smile forming with a small relieved chuckle. "Sorry to ask but would it be alright, could you put her on the...thank you." She waited, heart still pounding despite what the nurse had said.   
  
"Bernie?!" Exhaled a familiar, very relieved, voice. "Are you alright? Where are you?" 

"I'm fine." She replied as she walked out of the building towards her car, smile still plastered in place. "I'll be back shortly."  
  
There was a brief pause before Serena spoke in a hushed tone. "Are we...how do we know we're really.."  
  
"Awake?"   
  
"..."

They didn't. "Did you jump?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Then we should be fine...I'll keep an eye out for anything out of place and you can tell me if you see anything too, okay?"  
  
"Right. Alright. Bernie?...I...I'll see you soon." 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Final Chapter

The other patients were all sleeping still when Bernie arrived. She joined Serena in bed but neither slept; they just held one another in silence staring into the darkness until the morning sun began to lighten the sky. When soft conversations started filling the room, Bernie chanced a few quiet words of her own. "I'm so sorry Serena..."

Serena turned to face Bernie with a determined expression. "I'm not." At Bernie's confused face, she elaborated. "I..I thought I'd never see you again."

"Still, having to go through..."

"I..don't want to talk about that." Serena cut her off. "The important part...is you're safe now." She paused, face looking less certain. "We _are_ safe, aren't we?" 

"I don't know." Bernie leveled with her. "I hope so."

Bernie had questions about everything she missed. About how her family had taken it...which lead into some serious concern over Cameron. Then they'd gone on to the topic of Alex's visit and Serena had questions about her relationship with Alex. Serena asked if Bernie would go back to Alex now and Bernie admitted she didn't know, watching Serena for her response. An indeterminate 'Oh' was all she got before the topic shifted again. Bernie told her more about her work with Eva and on the garden. Serena filled Bernie in on her life and how Jason, Greta and the baby were doing. By the time lunch rolled around they realized they should probably start looking for flights. The nurse was kind enough to let them use the computer.  
  
Bernie leant forward and pointed at the screen. "One ticket...you put two."  
  
"Bernie...you were declared dead remember? All your accounts are closed. How did you plan on paying exactly?"  
  
"I.." Bernie looked down. "I wasn't planning on going back."  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
Bernie looked up sheepishly, avoiding eye contact while she mouthed in search of her words. "It's not like I have anything to rush back for...I can sort out everything I need to from here."  
  
"What about Cameron?"

"I'm fairly sure being told the army made a mistake is slightly less jarring than your dead mother walking into AU to say hi...Once he's had time to process it, I'll give him a call."  
  
"Bernie." Serena began in a chastising tone. 

"I'm not ready." She cut in, shoulders shrugging as she pushed her chair further from Serena. "I will face them...I just..need to sort some things out first."  
  
Serena grew quiet. What else could she say? She couldn't very well ask 'what about me' now could she? Bernie had been engaged. She had had a life here: a home, a job...  
  
"They still haven't found her."

Bernie looked over confused.   
  
"Eva. She's still out there with that...that thing. We don't even know if...what if that thing comes back?"  
  
"Hey," Bernie reached over to hold Serena's hand. "If anything happens, call me. We'll figure it out together."  
  
Bernie was right of course...her being in the same country wouldn't do much good if that thing only came out in dreams. Still didn't make Serena feel any better.

In the cab to the airport, there was a hanging tension despite their small talk. Bernie joked how this would have been a lot simpler if Cam had waited a bit longer to sell off her car but Serena didn't laugh. She pressed on, saying she should be grateful he hadn't gotten around to selling the house or she'd be sleeping in the barracks tonight. They spent most of the ride staring out the windows or straight ahead as they spoke but the hands on the seat between them never separated once.   
  
Bernie walked her into the airport, insisting on carrying Serena's bag. She looked up towards the line, free hand still rubbing along Serena's back as she slowed to a stop. Serena took a few steps more but stopped when she felt Bernie's touch leave her back and trail down to catch her hand. She turned to look back at Bernie. The silence between them felt heavy amidst all the talking, rolling of wheels, and overhead announcements surrounding them. Only ticket holders beyond this point. This was where they parted ways, again. Bernie offered up a sad smile, it not making much more progress than a single corner of her lips. They stared at one another, Serena trying to think what to say and Bernie waiting to support whatever Serena decided. Serena took a hesitant step forward, then a decisive one into Bernie's arms, forehead falling on her shoulder and hands grabbing fistfuls of Bernie's jacket at her back. She let out a dry sob as Bernie whispered a quiet "I love you Serena." There were already tears in her eyes when she looked up at Bernie. 

"Then come home."  
  
Bernie's eyes searched Serena's. "Are you asking..for you...or.." Serena pulled her hands up to cup Bernie's face.  
  
"Come home." Bernie watched her, unsure and hopeful. Serena went on, ignoring as tears escaped down her cheeks. "I can't do this on my own...I don't want to. I don't care if it's hard or if none of it works...or what sort of bloody animal we are...we'll find a way. We have to because I need you."  
  
"We, we've been here before Serena. It didn't work then, what makes you sure it will this time?"  
  
"Because it took losing you, for good, to make me realize what I'd be willing to do just to see you again. I'm willing to make you choose now. I don't care if you resent me for it. I'll happily spend the rest of our lives arguing with you over it and reminding you of all the reasons why it was worth it. You can find plenty of opportunities for glory and challenging, rewarding work without traipsing off to war zones for years at a time! Without putting yourself in dangerous situations and cutting yourself off from your family...I want you to choose me! I want you to want a life with me more than you want this!...please Bernie, choose me." Despite the forcefulness of her closing sentence, there was a plea in it that left it sounding somewhere between a question and a demand.   
  
Bernie's eyes crinkled in silent amusement and awe. After all this time, Serena still didn't see it...didn't realize she would do anything Serena asked of her...even if that request meant living separate lives. On the small things, or work, sure she'd stand her ground but when it came to them, their personal lives...Bernie would do what ever it took to give Serena the best life she could. It had broken her heart to keep face when Serena told her she didn't think Bernie could cut it in the domestic life with her and that Bernie should stick to chasing her career...but she didn't want to make the decision any harder on Serena than it had been. She had been right of course; home building had never come naturally to Bernie...but she'd done her best and she didn't love any less just because she didn't wear fuzzy robes, bake pudding, or drop important projects to see one high school baseball game. Seeing Serena begin to lose bravado, she realized she should actually speak at some point and put her out of her misery.   
  
"Every time."

Serena let out a relieved laugh as another tear rolled down, realizing she'd been holding her breath. Bernie let her head fall forward against Serena's with a grin, arms wrapping around Serena as the bag thumped against her back. They couldn't stare like that for long without sliding into a slow sensual kiss, not caring about how long they had been standing there or who had to walk around them.   
  
"To the ticket counter?" Bernie asked.  
  
"Lead the way." Came the smiling reply, head lulling on Bernie's shoulder, arms still wrapped around each other as they walked side by side, headed home at last. What ever came next, they would face it together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart weren't ready for this...I thought it was but I was wrong. Why do I always do this to myself?


End file.
